/bypass

I apologize for my absence on this blog. I have such a “normal” life as far as the gastric bypass goes. I mean, I lose weight, but as far as eating goes, I don’t feel like it’s such a big deal. I eat small meals and frequently. I recently went to BC for a visit and felt very comfortable with my eating habits. Sugar is still a no-no for me, of course, but going out with my friends and being invited over for dinner, I didn’t feel as if I was the odd one out. I ate as much as I wanted, and not the rest. It was very simple and relaxed. I can’t believe how wonderful it has been to had this surgery with little to no complications (knock on wood).

I will get to the 100 pound thing in a sec, but first I want to say that I am no longer allergic to alcohol. This is very strange for me, because since I can remember I have not been able to comfortably drink alcohol without having to stick my head under a cold faucet to quench my burning face. Red wine still makes me sick, but only in a gastric bypass too much sugar kind of way. I have issue with the alcohol thing, however, as I am not used to being able to drink it. I have no knowledge of limitations or what I can handle before being smashed. I have no experience with it which has led to at least one horribly embarrassing incident thus far. I have decided that for me, it’s not safe or worth the humiliation that ensues afterward. I just thought I would share this because I haven’t a clue why the weight loss would prompt my body to accept alcohol without reaction. Drinking prior to the surgery was absolutely horrifying and could many times bring me to tears as my face felt like it was being branded, (with the exception of pina coladas for some unknown reason). Where I am grateful that I can drink alcohol, I don’t think I will make it any sort of habit for the sake’s of all those who are with me.

Okay, now for the 100 pounds talk. This will be a long post, I apologize in advance. A few weeks ago I did hit that sweet number. I can’t remember the exact date, but one morning I woke up and there it was: 222.0 on the blinky blink. Since then I have lost an additional 2 pounds, bringing my total to 102 and my weight at 220. When I hit 210 I will be lighter than my highschool weight in grade 8 (I was 12).

I was thinking of ways that I could celebrate this occasion. At first I thought that I would take 10 balloons and place notes of things that I can do now that I couldn’t do when I was 100 pounds heavier and release the balloons over the city of burlington where I live. As this proved to cost too much money, I decided that I would throw each note in a fire. Luckily that weekend a family friend decided to have our family over for dinner and they had a fire in the back yard. I read each note aloud and threw them into the fire.
Here is the list of things that I have “given up”

• Not being able to sit in multiple positions, including: crossing my legs, sitting cross-legged comfortably and sitting with my knees under my chin. This includes as well, not being able to go cross-legged in the bath, or even on the toilet!
• Not finding myself attractive or beautiful, or being able to believe people when they say that I am.
  Sweating more than any mammal in the universe (notice I say universe, because aliens are most likely able to perspire).
• Not being able to pick out what I wanted to wear, but only what fit my enormous body, and sticking to mainly black to “hide”. Also, not being able to wear pretty dresses or anything that calls attention to myself.
• Being called fat, or getting terrible looks while I am eating as people assume that I am an unhealthy eater, and don’t take care of myself.
• Breaking chairs at my mom’s house during thanksgiving dinner!
• Hurting when I walk, or climb stairs. Losing my breath after 2 seconds of strenuous activity.
• Fearing/dreading being an ugly bride or not being able to properly take care of my future children, or not having safe pregnancies due to obesity.
• Immediately going into the handicapped washroom stalls to better fit my ample bottom.
• Being the fat friend, fat lover, fat sister, fat daughter, fat cousin, fat loner, “her face is beautiful it’s too bad she’s so fat” girl. I may be still chubby, but I give up the persona of being fat. It no longer is my culture, my identity, or the brunt of all my jokes. (although I will probably always joke about how I used to be fat)

So I crumbled up each of my 10 pieces of paper, signifying 10 pounds that I have lost and after I did that I felt such a overwhelming sense of accomplishment. With my family and friends surrounding me, and cheering me on, it was a very beautiful experience. My brother caught it on video but I don’t think you want to see me missing the firepit at least 5 times out of 10 from 3 feet away.

With that, I will get on to the progress pictures. I am still dealing with my kanga pouch that holds no kind of little roo. You’ll have to excuse my hair. We (my hair and I) are going through a bit of a transition phase and I had no will to straighten it nice for the occasion of picture taking.















Cheers Everyone! xoxoxo

Thank you all for your support and love!

So we have been fairly busy around here in the Biggar/Cosby household. We started our own business, which has thrilled us both to the core. As a result though, my energy has been poured into that and not updating you guys on the status of my weight loss. So I am tres apologetic. I have also been making wedding plans and meeting with the caterer etc etc so things have been hairy.

I stepped on the scale this morning (read: afternoon) and I was pleased that I finally broke my horrendous stall. I have been hovering at 235 now for something like three weeks. I am now 234! Wewt! I know that one pound may not seem like a big thing, but as my mom always said when I was little, it’s two whole half pounds of butter! Well no, she didn’t say it like that because she is far more eloquent and a grammar deity - so it was more like she showed me what a pound looked like with sticks of butter. They used to be packaged in half pounds and she would pile them in their little copper wrappers on top of one another and let me hold them. I am surprised I didn’t eat them right there and then.

BBQ season is in full swing. I have now been to several and although I cannot eat very much, and I feel VERY much in control (which is freaking awesome) it doesn’t mean what I have to choose from is healthy for me. I have to work on that. Always eat the meat first and a hot dog does not equal meat.

Oh I forgot to say that I went to that wedding that I have been talking about and I got to wear a lovely dress for the first time in my life. I will post a picture of it because I know that I have talked quite frequently about it. The dress is a size 16! It is hard to believe that 7 months ago I was a size 24. Oh i guess it’s my 7 month mark today, on July 4th. Happy I-day to all you americans out there, btw.

Man, i just tried looking for some better pictures of my dress and these are the only ones I could find. I don’t really like them for the actual showing off of this dress and I don’t think that the pictures do it justice, but whatever, it’s what I have. If I get to wear the dress again I will take better pictures!

So yeah, things are going good. We have a new business (wedding photography) our first paid client, a new camera. Things are going really really well. When it’s more completed, I’ll give you a link to our business website. It’s really rough right now so I don’t want to!

Cheers!

Hullo again. I realize that I wrote to you last night stating that I was too afraid to show you any progress pics because I am sortof self conscious about my hanging body fat. Swing batta batta! Anyway, this morning I stepped on the scale SIX TIMES because I was trapped in a realm of disbelief. The scale read…get ready for it. 241. TWO FOURTY FRICKING ONE. Somehow in my insane novel writing last night and the tea that kept me up til 4:30am, I lost two more pounds. What the h-bloody-ell? Whatever. I am taking it. My penance for being so lame and not showing you progress pictures, is of course, to show you progress pictures. So i got up, got dressed, put on some face (cause uhm, dudes it’s the morning) and posed away for the camera.

Two things that I am noticing about this batch. No wonder the chick at the plus size store thought I was pregnant. I DO LOOK PREGNANT! Sigh. But it’s like a 1st trimester pregnant and not a 3rd at least, AND…and and…it’s cause of that hanging inner tube that I have mentioned before - so I have bravely pulled it out in the last picture to show you exactly what I have to deal with. I realize that it’s incredibly embarrassing to show you one’s roll of fat in all its glory - but this blog is real and real dictates that I must pull out my fat to show you the truth of the matter. Losing weight rapidly as I have done over the past 6 months (yes it’s almost been that long, folks!) changes the way your skin holds your chunk. This is why they offer the tummy tuck in Canada for free if you’ve lost 100 pounds in a year, because we Canadians value these sort of things. Yes, cut back on Needle Exchange programs because of lack of funding, but pay for a bunch of tummy tucks because flat tummies are essential for the betterment of mankind.)**

**actually it’s cause the fatter people of this world can get nasty rashes under their loose skin, and that can lead to skin complications.

ANYway - I will get to the juices.

Peace out! <3

Donny and I have insane clashing schedules and he has not been able to take pictures of me until today as we both skipped out on work and school. (i have an essay to write) So yay for us for being able to sleep in til 2:00pm and then get up and have coffee together (aka. me having 2 sips) and take pictures of my progress. As of yesterday, because i don’t weigh myself every day anymore (messes with my head, yo!) I am down 61 pounds. I actually hit 60 pounds last week, but hovered there for about 5 days due to womanly reasons - delightful. So I am hoping my one pound loss is now me being back to normal.

So without further ado I present to you, my album called: “YOU CAN FO’ DAMN SURE SEE IT IN MY FACE!”

My last couple of posts have been depressing, but I am not sorry - I feel it is reality, and therefore should not be apologized for. This has by far been the worst winter, I think i’ve said that here before…but I am feeling much better lately. The weather is warmer for starters, which gives me a little hope. Also, I have NOT been SKIPPING on my VITAMINS. And - and and - well, I’ve been out of the house a few times.

It’s also kind of refreshing to be able to see such a major change in my face. I look in the mirror a lot - because i am completely narcissistic - and lately I look at myself and i’m just like woah - that’s me now! The weight loss is still slow, but I am getting used to it. I will not have lost all my weight before Mel and Luke’s wedding in June, where I was determined to wear a sexy dress, but I’m okay with that now. I mean GEE it’s not MY wedding folks. Certainly I will be wearing the sexy dress at that event - no questions asked! Mel and Luke’s wedding in June was just a mini goal for me…and who knows I might still be able to look good in a dress, we’ll see. I’ve just never been able to wear a cute dress that wasn’t either made for me or I have felt completely uncomfortable in. For my prom I wore a black sheet - no offense to the seamstress who actually did a wonderful job but I was fat - lets see if i can find a picture.

Ah yes, the blue wrappy shall thing did so much to cover up a myriad of woes.

And here is me dancing with Jonathan at my sister’s wedding where i was Maid of Honour - in a green tent.

Don’t EVEN get me started on what I wore to Mark and Leslie’s Wedding. EW - I will NEVER forgive myself for the WORST DRESS POSSIBLE with leggings and DEFINING FAT BAND on my stomach. Photo courtesy of Joel Danielson.

So you see folks - i would like to wear a nice dress to Mel and Luke’s wedding. I mean, for those out there who think I am calling myself ugly again - I’m not. I am just saying I want to wear a dress that will make me feel awesome and beautiful and wonderful. FOR ONCE in my life. So yeah - that’s my next mini goal. I won’t be the skinniest I wanted to be because my weight loss is too slow for that but at least I want to find a nice dress. That is all.

Here I am at One month and 1 week post op and 42 pounds down.

I seem to be losing my boobies.

I don’t actually see any difference in my face but James decided to run into the picture really quick so I had to post it.

For 40 pounds: I cut my hair

For 74 pounds: Get contacts, new outfit, facial

For goal: Tattoo!!!!!!!!!

Since I have reached my first goal of 40 pounds (42 this morning) I got my hair cut this afternoon. It turned into a huge event (6 hours) as she did the cut and afterwards I was IN SHOCK because my hair is BLONDE now. For years I have been dying it black and for the last year and a half I have refused to dye it so that I could grow out my natural colour. She managed to chop out all the remaining black that I had in my hair! After i saw it, I kinda thought that it looked boring and told her she had permission to do what ever she wanted (she was bored - and clientless for the day) So she put a lighter highlight on top of my head and the accented with chunks of purple and dark brown. It’s hard to see from the pictures, but I think it turned out alright. It’s neat to have blonde hair again

Here is what it looked like BEFORE; (aka this morning)

AND…after!

I also like to put my hair up most of the time, so that’s how I am wearing it now:

BRRRRrrrrr it was FREEZING today by the way. I HATE the cold and waited for the bus for 30 minutes (missed it by a hair). The best part of waiting for that bus though was that the bus stopped and picked up Donny who was on the way home from work!!! I’ve never been so happy to see someone come on the bus! <3

of course he was all like…..”well if you are HERE, then who is at home making me dinner?!?!” haha jerk!

Nothing else really new - tomorrow night I am having some friends over for a potluck dinner to catch up our lives a little and that will make me feel really good. I have been shut up in my head for a little too long - but today’s little makeover was really refreshing…

Today I woke up expecting to be 40 pounds down - but I am ACTUALLY 41 pounds down. I have compiled a few pictures that I found on the interweb that have things in them that are 40 pounds. Enjoy!

This cat.

This Fish

These Yams

This Turkey

This Robot

So, at the end of 2 weeks post-op (last friday) I got donny to take pictures of me so that I could compare them with the night before the night before surgery. (tis the night before, night before because of the postponed surgery - mm good memories). Anyway, on Friday I had lost…28 pounds, so the difference you are going to see is a 28 pound loss. I have been telling people that I haven’t really seen the difference, and it’s true, because it appears that it is coming off in porportion AND mostly off my backside. I think you may have to click on the pictures to make them larger - sorry about that. I want to show you not only the comparison between the pre-surgery night and on Friday - but also the comparison between the end of week 1 post op and the end of week 2 (friday) because it’s crazy even the difference between those! Anyway, crazy indeed.

COMPARISON FACE ONE: Before Surgery VS End of Week 2

COMPARISON FACE TWO: End of Week One VS End of Week Two

COMPARISON SIDE PROFILE ONE: Before surgery VS End of Week Two

COMPARISON SIDE PROFILE TWO: End of Week One VS End of Week Two

COMPARISON BACK: Before Surgery VS End of Week Two ( the week one shots didn’t turn out well)

COMPARISON FRONT: End of Week One VS End of Week Two (night before surgery shots didn’t work either)

SO there you have it. I think I can see a little bit of the difference in my face and side profile. Also, you may notice that my skin in my face from week 1 and 2 has vastly improved. I have a feeling this is because I am drinking so much water. Yay for neat side effects!

For those of you wondering about the bit of fishing line looking stuff that came out of my tummy the other day, I tucked it back in. Doing this was a mistake as the skin that grew over top of it grew very agitated with the tucked suture and was very miserable indeed. So I retrieved the tucked suture and cut it out. Everything is now perfectly wonderful. And if my mom made it this far I am guessing that she has puked.

Take care everyall. I hope that you are enjoying this insane snow we are getting right now. I was looking forward to the global warming that we all have heard so much about, but alas, we are not quite that ruined, yet.