/bypass

A-MOL-E

Three things….well four really cause the fourth is awesome.

ONE: I was a total vegetable this week. I only left the house to go to school on Monday, and groceries on Tuesday, or wednesday, I can’t remember now. The rest of the time I have been at home working on school work and catching up on the many many novels that I have neglected to read all year. I am pleased to announce that I knocked three down - five more to go. (that doesn’t include the 3 graphic novels that I decided to read also - shhh don’t judge me!) This vegetable bedrest that I have basically been on has meant that I haven’t had much motivation to actually get up and workout, so like the novels I have neglected to read all year, I also shoved aside my exercise, which I didn’t think would matter because it was only a week. Right? HOLY CRAP WRONG. Even a week without exercising has left me absolutely obliterated today after a session. This has taught me that taking an entire week off is not an option for me and that I have to try and get motivated to do at least mini workouts if I can’t do a full on session in order to keep my muscles working.

TWO: Today I hit a proud moment. Although I haven’t lost any weight since last time I updated (sigh), I have dramatically pushed myself harder.  Last week, I was doing 4 minutes of walking and 2 minutes of running, but walking at 4.5 and running at 6.5, which if you know anything about the tread mill is actually NOT that difficult because it’s a very slow pace. Today, I pushed that up, walking at 5.5 for 2 minutes, running at 9 for 1.5 minutes and back down to 5.5 for 2 minutes. At one point I was running and I thought it would be a challenge if I picked my knees up really high off the ground - almost like jumping, in fact I actually bashed my knee against the handle which hurt very much afterwards (not at the time cause i was in the zzzone). After the third increment I pushed the speed up to 9.5 and that extra .5 almost killed me, but the dude beside me told me “you can do it!” (which totally shocked the hell out of me) and I just kept running, and after I was done and had completed my 1.5 minutes he said “wow, you did really really good” and I said “i know!” He said later that I should be proud about my accomplishments because he watched me when I first started and couldn’t believe how far I have come so far. That made me feel really awesome.

For the first time I thought, wow, i really did something BY MYSELF. I mean, yes, I got this surgery and there is some amount of effort that goes into it, especially mental effort — but for the most part I have felt extremely blessed. But this. This is different because the surgery, where it helped me get down the weight is not “responsible” for my running accomplishments. I did that. I mean, ahh it’s hard to explain. I KNOW that I lost the weight too, but having the gastric bypass has always sortof nagged at me a little, like I didn’t do it by myself - that there is some sort of alien in me that helped me out. I think of my stomach as a separate entity than “me” because it is man made. Therefore, the weight, although I lost it, I feel as if I didn’t really DO IT on my own because my man made instrument was helping me. I am not necessarily saying this in a negative way, really. Don’t take it like that. I am more or less just saying that when I was running today, I pushed myself to overcome my own challenges and I succeeded and I didn’t need any tools or help — I just used what I was originally given.

You know, I didn’t even know I felt like this until just now writing it out. Writing always does that to me. I think I need to really reflect on what I have just said about my stomach being alien to me…because I can tell that that is something I need to explore and analyze.

ANYWAY sorry about blabbering on about that….where was I?

Oh yeah THREE: Chest pains! After my workout and during my 9.0-9.5 running I realized my chest was throbbing, er lungs or I donno. It was the only reason I could not go to 2 minutes. I mean, it feels fine now, obviously because otherwise I would be hospitalized, but I have to wonder, will that go away? What is it caused by? How hard should I push myself when my chest hurts? Should I just plod on or should I just slow down a bit? Is it a warning sign or a natural part of the process? These are questions that I am hoping someone like Shalagh or Amy can answer — someone who trains daily and knows what I should do?

FOUR: Here comes the awesome bit. I decided that because I was near death after my run that instead of doing Yoga downstairs like I usually do, that I would collapse in a heap in my bed. So, I just grabbed my stuff and bolted out the door. I was breathing so heavily, in that really good way, where you just feel so good to draw in fresh oxygen. When I got in the elevator (basement) someone was coming out and let out the BIGGEST FART which stayed IN THE ELEVATOR and I was absolutely dying because I was breathing so hard and yet it was just RUINED by the stench of old man fart. UGH. It sucked. I was like ALL MY HARD WORK and ALL i wanted to do was BREATHE. I managed to make it 14 floors up and realized I left my keys downstairs so I had to go back down but took the other elevator this time, which smelled like meat, but was substantially better than poop-gas.

So yeah, long blog post but again, thank you all for your support. It’s just so lovely to see your encouraging words. So thank you, Katie, Tobey, Amy and Denise <3

And just for my records here:  15 min Yoga to start - 40 minutes treadmill

Increments: W 5.5 - 2 min - R 9.0 - 1.5 min

one round of R 9.5 - 1.5 min with one round of W 6.0 - 2 minutes

didn’t cool down today - should have cooled down.

First of all I would like to thank those who have responded in comments both on this site and on facebook! Thank you: Matt, Robin, Karen, Anna, Ginny, Mandy, Tobey, Tyler, Auntie Sara, and Zander for all your wonderful feedback and loving support! I especially took the advice to heart (especially to my insanely beating heart right now) as I further my journey to runningdom. Yes, it’s a word now. Look it up in my new dictionary. Anyways, you guys are amazing!!

Second, my new shoes are KICK ASS. These are them!

http://www.newbalance.com/performance/running/products/MR1064/

They are absolutely the most insane cushioning I think I have ever felt. My feet have always either fallen asleep while walking/running or my ankle starts cracking half way through - but with these, I feel as if I could go on for hours, prevented by my heart pounding out of my chest and my thighs feeling like soggy ramen.

Third. I have a new problem that I have never mentioned here, but an old problem that I have had since I was a child. I haven’t found much research available on what happens, but I will try to explain and maybe, just maybe, someone out there will know what the hee-haw hell I am talking about. It seems like every time I break into a dripping sweat, not a light sweat, that my ears start to ACHE like a rucker fudder. Rucker fudder sounds like something that would ache. Anyway, it HURTS so bad! Mind you, this is NOT because I am outside and there is NO air coming into my ear from the outside because I almost always have my Shure Earphones in which prevent pretty much ANYTHING from getting in my ears other than the sweet sweet sound of Boards of Canada.  So yeah, it’s only when I sweat and this happened today on the elliptical machine and boy - oh boy - did I want to, like, rip the right side of my face clean off!

Fourth, I have lost 3 pounds since the running. I am not even going to say something like “not the greatest” or “too bad it’s so low” because UHM HELLO, I’m freaking awesome! So this brings my grand total to 117 pounds lost since December 4th, 2009 — and I am officially 205 pounds, FIVE pounds away from my next mini goal of 200, where you shall all receive another one of those great side by side pictures of me in my practically naked clothes.

Fifth, I gots me a wedding dress to die for. Tee hee! Obviously I cannot post a picture of it because Donnyhonny will see it and it will RUIN THE ENTIRE WEDDING. haha, no, actually I don’t believe it that, but I do believe in painfully making him wait despite his squirmings.

i think that is all for now.

Oh wait~ I forgot. I have to track here what I am actually up to on the running. Well today the treadmills were taken so I couldn’t treadthemill but I did do half an hour of pretty intense elliptical training and then 30 minutes of yoga afterwards to try to calm the freak down, which didn’t work because yoga and janie = mad imbalance. So yeah before that I was doing 45 minutes on the treadmill in increments of 4 minute walking, 2 minute running, on and on and on. So yeah, a teenie-weenie improvement from the starting point, but I hope to gradually increase everything!

So lets be honest here folks, because that’s what I  am mainly all about, and this blog can prove that many times over. Right now, I am wheezing, red, sweaty and pretty much on death’s porch swing having a complete physical breakdown, on the verge of throwing in the dripping towel — and only after 20 minutes of running, or what I am calling ‘running’ even though in reality it was more like sauntering.

I have not exercised since my last yoga class of november 2009. I decided to get really lazy and basically put myself on bedrest for no valid reason, while i porked, in small portions of course. Actually truth be told, I haven’t slipped as far as food goes, not really. I still cannot handle sugars, except the little I put in my coffee. BUT, the responsibility of MOVING AROUND has been slapped under the comfy chairs I have been parking my saggy skinned bum in. This, among other things, is what I have decided to change up.

I think it’s quite obvious that I have some sort of seasonal depression and I become quite subdued after Christmas, allowing my brain to shut off, my goals to disappear and my priorities to become lost under the bleakness felt from the lack of vitamin D. Usually, around this time, where I have moped and cried for too long, I make turn around decisions.

So the other day I received $1000 for academic achievement and I decided to spend $200 to get a brand, and spanking new pair of running shoes that are specially designed for my cushioning needs. My goal is to RUN, without pain, without dying afterwards, without chest pains etc etc — run for a long period of time.

There are a few obstacles however and pardon if I get graphic here:

1. Floppity Flop boobs

2. The infamous ankle break of 2008 seems to have screwed up my stride, as I have “nursed” the wound by turning my ankle slightly inward. The dude who did my shoes told me about this and warned me that straightening OUT my ankle might be painful at first and that I’d have to get used to that.  So yeah, after a little while, it starts to feel crappy and it makes me nervous.

3. Girl who worked out beside me today. Who in their right mind wears tapered black jeans, hiking boots, their extremely long hair down over their logger’s plaid long sleeved shirt while they are gazelling on an elliptical at 100 kilometers an hour, not breaking a sweat over their freakishly beautiful face. I kept having to, like, speed the treadmill up thinking that she, in her infinite lumberjack princess ways, was judging me and my bright orange shoes, with leggings and over-sized blue shirt that does nothing to hide the floppity flops mentioned in point number 1.

4. My LAN party hip keeps clicking and it sucks! This also makes me nervous.

I have to start somewhere though right?

I haven’t lost any weight since the last time that I posted. I think I might have gained 2 pounds. IT IS POSSIBLE if you let yourself go. I mean, yeah I am not eating anything, right? BUT your body gets complacent and all like, yo, i’m gunna screw with you, chickie, so there! Last time I weighed was yesterday and I was 208. So it’s time to get back in the game.

My goals are to learn how to run, so if anyone has any running advice, please don’t hesitate. I basically just wanna know everything there is to know.

I mean, should I just be walking right now? Should I even try to run without walking first?